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In case you’re using a bunch in series, you’re going to need some conjunctions


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Before I begin, I think that it should be appropriate that I create a list of adjectives that you can interject at your leisure whilst reading through this:

{colossal fat giant gigantic great broken bumpy chilly cold cool abundant empty few heavy purring quiet raspy resonant screeching shrill silent}

In case you’re using a bunch in series, you’re going to need some conjunctions:

{and and and and and and and and and}

You’re going to need a bunch of commas if you’re going to use those conjunctions, too:

{,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,}

Please note that each element in the set of commas above is separated by another comma, so you’ll have to divide by two in order to get your maximum amount of allotted commas.

So what was I saying? Oh yeah (page break, arrow)

This is Robert Marlow’s two-week notice of resignation from Jerry’s Old Town Inn in Germantown, Wisconsin, USA.

This is not a joke.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font.

This font is smaller than the previous font

So, you’re probably asking yourself “What has this kid been drinking”, along with “Do I need to get some laundry done when I get home?”, “Why is this two-week notice so huge?”, “What font is this?” and “Why is Rob quitting?” I will answer the questions out of order:



  1. Rockwell, it’s what I use in my MSVC environment. It makes code look pretty.

  2. Mickey’s, Guinness, and B&B to start with.

  3. I actually got a summer internship where Tyler (remember him?) works at: API in Hartford. I’m going to be working with control systems (hardware programming). As much as I would love to continue to work in the hallowed Jerry’s Old Town Inn kitchen for the rest of my life, a man has to know when to move on. A man especially has to know when to move on after investing about $50,000 in college schooling. I’ve actually attained enough “mad programming skillz” (technical term) to “pay the billz”.

  4. Well, I originally tried the following two-week notice, but I got a bad grade on it:

And since the two-week notice accounts for 50% of the final grade, I decided to try again with this one.



  1. You have several pairs of pants that are kinda dirty, but you just washed most of your shirts last Wednesday, so you don’t have a bunch of laundry to do tonight.

“Yeah, but you can still work Saturdays then?!”

I’m guessing that working 5 days a week for 8 hours a day at API will accumulate more money than (what just happened to my paragraph indents?) I would proportionately accumulate if I continued to work 9 to 10 hours per Saturday at the JOT. Perhaps a graph or two will automagically explain more. Hopefully, it will only confuse you more (another annoying page break).




All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All         work         and         no         play         makes         jack         a         dull         boy.

A ll       wo  rk       an  d       n  o       pl   ay      ma   kes      Ja  ck        a        du  ll       bo y.

A  l l    w o   r k   a n     d    n     o   p l      a y  m a  k  es   J a    c k      a      d u    l l    b o  y.

A   l  lw o      r k a n        d n        op l         aym a  k    es J a       c k    a    d u        l   lbo   y.

 A  llwo         rkan           dn         opl           aymak       esJa         c k a    d u           l  lboy.

   Allwo            rkan           dn         opl           aymak         esJa       cka  d u               llboy.

      Allwo           rkan            dn        opl              aymak         esJa       ckadu               llboy.

              Allwo      rkan             dn       opl                 aymak          esja       ckadu         llboy.

                     Allwo      rkan          dn       opl                    aymak        esJa       ckadu   llboy.

                             Allwo     rkan       dn        opl                     aymak       esJa     ckadullboy.

                                      Allwo      rkan      dn       opl                   aymak      esJackadullboy.

                                             Allwo       rkan        dn         opl             aymakesJackadullboy.

                                                    Allwo          rkan         dn       opl    aymakesJackadullboy.

                                                               Allwo         rkan    dn       playmakesJackadullboy.

                                                                        Allwo         rkan   dnplaymakesJackadullboy.

                                                                                 Allwo    kandnplaymakesJackadullboy.

                                                                                  AllworkandnoplaymakesJackadullboy.

All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

 All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

  All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

   All work and no play Makes jack a dull boy.

    All work and no play makes Jaack a dull boy.

     All work and no play makees Jacck a dull boy.

      All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

        All work and nop play makes Jack a dull boy.

           All work and no plya makes Jack a dull boy.

               All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                    All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                          All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.


                                   All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                                             All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                                                          All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                                                                        All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                                                                       All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                                                                      All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                                                                    All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                                                                All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                                                         All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                                            All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

                          All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

            All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
As one can see, the end result is a logarithmic function. This means that, although my wantingness to stay at the JOT will never be zero even as x goes to infinity, it approaches zero very quickly. Kind of like Gauss’ theorem on central limit:

As anyone can plainly see, this means that the area under the curve from negative infinity to positive infinity of the developed function will ultimately yield 1, of course this is after all of the multivariable calculus that must be applied to this function. This will leave you with a probability between 0 and 1 if you are only integrating with values that are not near infinity and negative infinity, of course assuming that the distribution curve is normal. So as the integral goes to infinity, my wantingness to stay at the JOT on Saturdays will ultimately approach 1, or a 100% probability.

I guess it’s not just about money, either. It’s kind of humbling / demotivating to be to put forth so much effort and money into such advanced schooling (don’t make me write out Carl Maxwell’s Fourth Law of electromotive force, or explain how a linker configuration file works), then coming to work at Jerry’s on weekends to clean out fryers, wash dishes, make salads, etc. For once, I would like to see all of the efforts I put into school finally pay off for something. It would also be nice to see my number retired next to the other Legends Of The JOT™:

Oh crap, I’m sounding like a total attention whore at this point. Sorry.

It’s been nice to see all of the new and shiny stuff around the kitchen. The area finally feels like an actual kitchen, rather than a place where food gets made. I can see Jerry’s Old Town Inn finally starting to go places and taking new and adventurous routes; places where the previous owners were too scared to traverse. Sometimes I wonder why, in the first 3.5 (I think it’s three and a half) years I worked here, I saw a total of about 2 improvements on the place (new dishwashing machine, new freezer by the fryers), and why in the last half a year (right?) I’ve seen a few dozen improvements to the kitchen / floor / building. That was one huge run-on sentence. Whoa. Here are some more useless graphs to explain what I’m trying to not say:

(this page was intentionally left somewhat blank for dramatic effect)





Hope that about sums up how much of a vast improvement I’ve seen ever since Kerry and Terry took the reins.

Hmm, what other questions could I possibly cover? How about:

“Are you coming back in fall, LOL?!!!!!1!!11eleven1!!”

Well, I’ll hopefully be making enough money over the summer to not need to come back here from fall till spring again. Not that I don’t love coming here to see you all…

So I guess that ends this fat packet of paper; my intention was to make the biggest damned two week notice ever. I hope I accomplished my mission. I wish you all the best. As for me, it’s time for me to ride off into the sunset…





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